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kim-and-kyle

Kyle and Kim

Last year Keith and I were driving Kyle and his friend to an event and I asked the friend what he was doing the next day for Mother’s Day.  He answered that he was reading his mother a poem.  Keith and Kyle almost fell over in astonishment and the friend was confused.  I explained that they were expecting (hoping) that he would say “what, tomorrow is Mother’s Day?” and his answer just showed up whatever plans they made.  Kyle’s friend explained that the kids have a little show for their mother every year. 

Keith and I went on to dinner with two couples and I told them about our car conversation.  One husband spent the rest of the evening conjuring up poems, or maybe sailor limericks would be a better description.  The second husband worked with his daughters the next morning to plan a list of reading material including poems and excerpts from Little Women and Pride and Prejudice and read them to her throughout the day.  So, surprise the Mom in your life and spend a few minutes reading to her. 

Suggestions for what to read to your mother:

- Kyle’s friend read  “The Lanyard” by Billy Collins and it is a perfect Mother’s Day poem, especially for a child still in school.

- The few pages in Little Women in the first chapter starting with the paragraph “The Clock struck six” when Beth lays out Marmee’s slippers, to when Marmee comes home and announces “I’ve got a treat for you after supper.”  Or don’t stop, it’s such a lovely book.

- The poem “To My Mother” by Wendell Berry, perfect for an adult child.

- You may have a wife or friend who needs this story:

“Kids are Dogs, Teens are Cats” by an unknown author

I just realized that while children are dogs … loyal and affectionate …
teenagers are cats. Read the rest of this entry »

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“A Worn Path” by Eudora Welty is a story of love and sacrifice, two of the primary reasons for Easter.  In this quiet story old, black Phoenix Jackson walks to town to obtain medicine for her grandson.  Phoenix “was very old and small and she walked slowly . . . Her eyes were blue with age.  Her skin had a pattern all its own of numberless branching wrinkles as though a whole little tree stood in the middle of her forehead.”  Phoenix endures fear, pain, and humiliation, but brushes them off  and retains her dignity throughout her journey. 

Phoenix walks through deep, still woods, climbs up a hill “through pines” and “down through oaks,” maneuvers through thorn bushes, crosses a creek on a log, crawls under barbed wire and walks through a dead forest, dead corn fields, and a swamp.  She travels through cold and wind.  Just as she starts on “the easy going,” a black dog startles her and she lands in a ditch, too weak to get up by herself.  A young, white hunter helps her out and orders her to return home.  When she insists on going to town, he insults her by saying “I know you old colored people!  Wouldn’t miss going to town to see Santa Claus.”  But, the motivation for Phoenix’s journey is not trivial, it’s a labor of love. Read the rest of this entry »

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Growing Up on the Spectrum: A Guide to Life, Love, and Learning for Teens and Young Adults with Autism and Asperger’s is the second book that Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel and I have written together.  Our first was Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child’s Life, and we’re incredibly proud of how many people have told us the book has been a source of information and comfort to them.

My oldest son was diagnosed with autism when he was two and a half and at some point along the way, a friend suggested I go see Dr. Koegel who was running a clinic at the University of Santa Barbara with her husband Dr. Robert Koegel.  (That clinic has since been named after them: it’s now the Koegel Autism Center.)  The story of our first meeting is described in Overcoming Autism: basically my husband and I were blown away by Lynn’s personal brilliance and by the effectiveness of their pivotal response teaching behavioral approach. 

Thanks to her guidance (and the hard work of many other wonderful professionals), our son is doing great today.  He’s an amazing kid and a fully mainstreamed high school junior who’s currently trying to figure out which colleges to apply to.

Back when he was still young, Lynn discovered that I was a writer (a rather unfulfilled writer at the time) and asked if I could help them rewrite their clinic brochure.  I did.  A year or so later, she asked me if I’d have any interested in co-authoring an entire book with her.  I did.  Together we wrote Overcoming Autism.  The expertise in the book is all hers, but I was able to add some personal experiences as the mother of a kid on the spectrum and help with the general writing and presentation.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Levi Strauss, originator of the American 501 uniform, was born 180 years ago today.  Why do I know this?  Claire and I have children who attend an elementary school that requires the children to wear uniforms, but on Levi Strauss’ birthday they can wear jeans.  Levi Strauss is  their hero.  Mr. Strauss was a Bavarian immigrant who arrived in New York  in 1847 to work in his brothers’ dry goods store.  In 1853 he joined one of the largest mass immigrations in history and traveled to California to make his fortune.  No simpleton, he knew his money was buried in the 49ers’ pockets rather than the Sierras and he set out supplying the miners.  [If only those of us who bought up shares in Silicon Valley start ups remembered Levi's story and invested in Herman Miller and his Airon chair, at least the company still exists.]  A tailor in Nevada, Jacob Davis, contacted Levi about making durable pants for the miners.  They made jeans out of brown sailcloth with metal rivets at the points of strain, the pockets and the bottom of the button fly.  They obtained a patent on this use of metal rivets.  In flowed the money and the name ‘Levis’ is synonymous with jeans.

There is only one book that is perfect for this day of donning jeans, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares.  In case you haven’t heard the story, just before they leave for summer, four high school juniors find a pair of jeans in a thrift store that fits all of them even though they are different sizes (personally, I’m looking for a pair of pants that would fit me in the size I wore as a high school junior, now that would be magic).  They decide that they each will wear the pants for awhile, then ship them to the next girl for her turn.  The book follows the girls’ summer with four distinct voices, characters and experiences.  As the jeans travel around, they acquire patches and mementos and take on the character of a clothing scrapbook.  What I appreciate about the story is the emphasis on the importance of girlfriends and supporting your friends.  In this age of “mean girls,” it’s nice to have a book that shows how girlfriends mess up and still hang in there for each other.  Friendships take effort whether it be finding the time to have fun or being supportive or holding each other accountable or forgiving one another for blowing it.  This series of books (there are four in total) gives examples of the mistakes girlfriends make, but ultimately shows the triumph of their relationship.

The story has spawned other sharing adventures.  I learned of four girls who were so inspired by the book that they decided to get a pair of “magical Read the rest of this entry »

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President’s Day is a celebration of two great Presidents, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.  Moreover, President Lincoln, the man our current President calls his role model, was born two hundred years ago today.  I’m joyfully awash with all of the Lincoln information I’ve read and heard about in the last week.  At the end of this post, there are links to music, book reviews, the Abraham Lincoln bookshop and a beautiful tribute.  So many adult books on Lincoln were published recently, it’s hard to keep up with them.  I’m going a different route for this Recommended Reading post.  I’m focusing on a recently published children’s picture book, Mr. Lincoln’s Boys written by Staton Rabin and illustrated by Bagram Ibatoulline, and Tad Lincoln’s Father, a memoir published 70 years ago by Julia Taft Bayne. Read the rest of this entry »

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